Reality Check
by Omnictionary
Summary: One-shot. A retelling of the Lucas Lee fight, without the awesome comic book physics. Instead, it's replaced with the truth. Rated T for violence or sumfin.


Author's Note:

**So, this story is taken in perspective as if Scott Pilgrim was imagining all the awesome video game/comic book references in his head. I did this as a little test, during the summer leading up to the movie release. I might do the whole first three books in this style, but only if this gets good feedback. Any reviews are appreciated! :D**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>REALITY CHECK: Scott Pilgrim vs. Lucas Lee<p>

It was a sunny day in Toronto, Canada as Scott Pilgrim (Age 23, Rating: Awesome) and his cool gay roommate Wallace Wells (Age 23, Rating: 7.5/10) walked up the steps toward Casa Loma, the former home of Sir Henry Pellatt.

"Scott, tell me why you followed me to Casa Loma?" his gay roommate asked. "Well, I need to defeat Ramona's seven evil ex-boyfriends to be with her and she dated Lucas Lee after Patel" said the orange-brown haired nerd. "Matthew Patel? Isn't he the guy you, y'know, ki-."

"Defeated, and yes," Scott interrupted. "Right."

Scott and Wallace reached the top of the Casa Loma steps as they entered upon a movie set. Apparently, they were filming a brand-new romantic comedy here starring Lucas Lee and Winifred Hailey. While Wallace mingled with the director, Scott searched high and low for Mr. Lee. "Excuse me, sir," said a skinny teenage security guard. "I'm sorry, but there are no visitors on set during the day." Scott kicked the teen in the groin, and knocked him out with one swift upper cut. Pilgrim then dragged the unconscious body to the edge of Casa Loma and threw him over, looking at the guard roll down the hill into the streets of Toronto. After hours of searching (and blood), Scott Pilgrim finally found Lucas Lee (Age Unknown, Rating: Famous). He approached the muscular movie star smoking and looked at him dead in the eyes.

"Can I help you with something?" said the actor. Scott coughed. "Hi. Luke Wilson, right?" He said with a wave and a stupid grin. "No, Lucas Lee." Scott's smile, turned into an angry frowned. Scott bit his lip and punched Lucas Lee across the face. Lucas fell face first into his skateboard and spat up blood. "Look," Lucas said weakly. "If you're here to practice with the others, come back at 4:30. If not, I will sue you for assault." Scott kicked him the fallen star in the groin multiple times. Lucas Lee was coughing up more and more blood by the second. Scott let the actor stand up and take a break. They both looked at each other.

"You're a skater, right?" Scott asked as he tapped his foot lightly. "Y-yeah…" said Lucas, fearing what might happen to his well being. "How about you do a grind-thingy on that rail?" Scott pointed to the 200+ staircase at the edge of Casa Loma. "Dude, that is insane. The rails are garbage, and there are a million stairs." Scott made his way to the right railing. "Too hard?" Pilgrim said as he tapped the railing with two fingers. "You're not a real man, are you?" Lucas started sweating. "Come on, Lucas. Show me how good you are." Lucas Lee took a deep breath and got his board. He dropped it and kicked off the ground. His heart was thumping fast. The skater jumped up and started to 50-50 grind the long railing. Scott looked on as Lucas panicked. He got faster, faster and faster, until finally he tripped. Lucas hit the ground hard and skid into the road. A passing car hit the now lifeless body of the actor and crushed the skateboard too.

Moments after, Scott Pilgrim and Wallace Wells walked down the staircase to find the body. Wallace widened his eyes and stared at the lifeless body that was famous actor Lucas Lee. "Oh my god, Scott," Wallace said in shock. "Scott?" Wallace looked at his roommate. He had taken Mr. Lee's pants, raiding the pockets for his coins. "Awesome! More coins!" shouted Scott as he pulled out a bag of coins, amounting to 14 or 15 dollars. Scott took a handful and left a pile on the dead body's head. He threw back Lucas's pants as well. Scott shoved the coins into his jacket pocket. "Scott Pilgrim has defeated ex number two!" the excited brown haired man yelled as he made his way down the street. "I swear something's up," Wallace said to himself, running to catch up with his roommate.


End file.
